Rihanna You Seem To Be Naked On The Cover Of Your New (Rubbish) Rude Boy Single

Rihanna did alright with that Umberella song a couple of years ago didn’t she? And thanks to shacking up with off-the-rails boyfriend Chris Brown and becoming celeb best mates with Jay-Z and Beyonce in the last few years she’s done alright for herself song-wise. But Rude Boy? WHAT is going on??!!

I’ve never really been a Rihanna fan, I don’t know what, she’s just not my cup of tea, I don’t feel any warmth from her, so I just tend to skip over her when it comes to listening to my Now That’s What I call Music CD’s… but she DID catch my attnetion with this, quite frankly, rubbish song that’s just been on Radio One.

Now, I know everyone is trying to be different for the sake of it at the moment, but Rihanna, I thought you’re mantra was making accessible pop music – NOT pretending to be a ghetto princess and talking like R From The Block and that naked single cover… leave that to Lady Sovereign yeah?

I mean; I’ve just found a selection of these literary marvels on Google, and now I start to wonder if Rihanna’s Umberella-ella-ella’s repetitive, short and unimaginative lyrics would be the key to another successful single. The answer is, No.

Come here rude boy, boy, Can you get it up? Come here rude boy, boy, Is you big enough? Take it, take it, Baby, baby, Take it, take it. Love me, love me…. Number one, it should be ARE you big enough, not that you’d want your kids to be singing that on the way home from school.

Do you like it boy, I wa-wa-want, What you wa-wa-want? Give it to me baby, Like boom, boom, boom, What I wa-wa-want, Is what you wa-wa-want, Na, na-aaaah. Like Boom boom boom?… Well done Chris Brown.

Tonight, I’mma give it to you harder, Tonight, I’mma turn your body out, Relax, Let me do it how I wanna, If you got it, I need it, And I’mma put it down… are we having song porn now?

So giddy up, Time to giddy up, You say you’re a rude boy, Show me what you got now… could you clarify what a rude boy is please Rihanna, you seem to have missed that out amongst all out claptrap lyrics.

Whatever happened to making songs that actually don’t make you sound like a wannabe gangsta chav slapper these days? Bring back The Beatles I say!

Originally posted by me on femalefirst.co.uk

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